He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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