i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
