sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
