this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
