i jhust puked up my retainher.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
