Your tits are I can't wait for
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
