if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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