Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
