If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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