Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
