i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
