dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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