I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Say something about gay babies.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
