I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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