It's Friday. Sex?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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