Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
