I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There's always time for handjobs
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
