"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
