At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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