Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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