We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
