since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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