You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
