i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize