you traded sex for a burrito?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
