I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize