If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
