No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
