Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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