My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
