doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I deserve this hangover.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
