I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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