from now on my penis is your penis
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
this is an emotional support booty call
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
