We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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