I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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