Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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