I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
