She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
