Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize