She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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