Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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