i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
