apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
