I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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