I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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