i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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