if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
