Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
