I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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