I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
