It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
