last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
