I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
