So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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