haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
