I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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