He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
