I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
