You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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