Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
