You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
