i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
