I'm laying in your front yard are you home
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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